Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
