Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
