You're my little dorito
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
