I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
