I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
he was CRYING into my vagina
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
