If that was your dad, he is hot
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
