Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
How does one acquire holy water?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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