he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
