K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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