how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
