Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
