I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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