I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
