the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
