oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Did I show you my penis last night?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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