She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
