He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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