Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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