if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
