I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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