My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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