Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
