we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She bit a glass in half.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
