i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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