Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
