I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
