the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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