I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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