did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
