Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
