I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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