it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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