maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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