that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
sarcasm needs its own font
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
