at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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