So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
