Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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