Plan B is the new Plan A
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
