I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
