Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
