But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
