It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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