Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
