Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
