You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
