then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
