My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
