You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
