we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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