as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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